Category: kids
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Grocery Gladiator
My kids enjoy hanging out in live seafood departments, and I enjoy shopping while they’re entertained. It’s like a free aquarium.
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Change With The Times
He was so sure he had caught me trying to trick him by giving him a different answer.
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What A Richard
One of my cousins told me this story and also posited that “Moby Richard” would be a good name for a band.
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Grant Me Patience
The being-an-established-couple-at-a-wedding struggle is real. My kid wasn’t the only one asking the awkward questions, just the youngest.
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There’s Always Room for Cake
The deal is supposed to be: I eat the cake alone, out of sight, like some sneaky kitchen gremlin hiding my prey, and then I don’t have to share with the rest of the family. Foolproof.
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Social Grilling
We are glad to have the opportunity to talk with other parents, but I definitely need a minute to psych myself up for it.
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The Bird
The words left my mouth and it hit me: “wait, that did not sound right…”
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Ronald McDahlnald
One of my kids was also having trouble with this author’s name for her own book report (in a different class). We helped her remember it as “Rolled Doll” and when she practiced her presentation and had trouble I would mime like I was tossing something low to the ground (the imaginary doll) to help…
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Hashtag Numerology
Now I’m just waiting for all the automated phone messages to start telling me to enter a number “followed by a hashtag” because it will surely resonate better with the next generation than “pound sign.”
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Idle Chit-Chat
Certainly it was not the best night of sleep I’ve ever had, but at least I was able to remember some of these night-time kid pronouncements for comic purposes.